:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you inspire me to be a worse person
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
