So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
