It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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