Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(989): View more from Michigan

in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

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(406): View more from Montana

Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT

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(206): View more from Washington

"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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(630): View more from Illinois

who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?

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(224): View more from Illinois

I was not drunk enough for that final.

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