i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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