the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
