I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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