Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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