and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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