Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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