i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
