i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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