I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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