the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
