k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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