can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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