Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
