Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
