YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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