Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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