im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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