I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Actions speak louder than pants.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
