he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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