You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
