I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
