my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
