That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
