I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
