i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
