Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
