If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
