well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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