bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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