there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
