The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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