i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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