Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
