Hey man sorry I got all grabby
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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