She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
