Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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