Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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