I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
