I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
