Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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