just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You are the jesus of drinking
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
