all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
