Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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