Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
