She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
