Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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